| Location | Croydon, Surrey |
| Age | 2 years |
| Date of Birth | 09/08/2004 |
| Date of Death | 22/03/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,674 since 15/04/2008 |
| Creator |
Bradley Lee Towler-Helliwell. 22nd March 2007. Age 2.
Lived with Mark and Anita Helliwell, Tyler, Callum and little sister Lindsey in Croydon, Surrey.
Unknown to us Bradley had a hole in his heart and in the early hours of Thursday 22nd March 07 he
passed away, he was rushed to hospital, but unfortunately though they tried there wasn't anything
they could do to save him.
Bradley was a lovely child, into everything boyish, he liked playing with Tyler, Callum and Lindsey.
He loved to watch CBeebies, Teletubbies, Postman Pat, he also watched programmes with the others
like Turtles and Spiderman. He was very loud and loved making a noise, in fact he was probably
happiest when he was making lots of noise, which he did regularly. Bradley liked to run around,
whether he was in the house or garden. Bradley was our beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed boy - one
in a million.
Bradley was and still is very dearly loved by us all, he is also very sorely missed. Life is so
quiet without him now, he could make you cry one minute and laugh the next and we would give
anything to have him back here with us now.
Miss you very much little man, wish you could be here again back with us and then things would be
fine once more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I started this site for you and as yet i haven't put anything, thats 'cos i don't know what to put. Theres a million things i want to say to you, but can't - the most important being I LOVE YOU and I'm Sorry. Sorry 'cos I couldn't help you the time you really needed it the most-the night you left us. Every1 says I did my best, but obviously my best wasn't good enough or you would still be here. I'm having real trouble writing this babe, but I need you to know that if i could turn back time i'd make sure i did everything and more so that things turned out different. I probably didnt tell you enough when you were here that I LOVE YOU and I apologise for that to, I think of you everyday and night. I'm sorry babe but I have to go now, LOVE YOU lots mum mumxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you
We would just like to say thank you to all who have left a tribute (candle, photo or just looked) to Bradley, we appreciate all your lovely poems, words and thoughts very much. It is nice to know so many people think of you at times like this, even when you don't really know them. Thank you all very much. Anita and family.
The Pit of Grief
The day my child died, I fell into the pit of grief. My friends watched me struggle through daily life; waiting for the person I once was to arise from the pit, not realizing 'she' is gone forever.
The pit is full of darkness, heartache and despair; it paralyzes your thoughts, movements and ability to ration. The pit leaves you forever changed, unable to surface the person you once were.
Some of my pre-grief friends gather around the top of the pit, waiting for the old me to appear before their eyes, not understanding what’s taking me so long to emerge. After all, in their eyes, I’ve been in the pit for quite sometime. Yet in my eyes, it seems as if I fell in only yesterday.
Not all of my pre-grief friends are gathered around the top of the pit. Some are helping me with the climb out of the darkness. They climb side by side with me from time to time, but mostly they climb ahead of me, waiting patiently at each plateau. Even with these friends I sometimes wonder if they are also waiting for the pre-grief me to magically appear before their eyes.
Then there are the casual acquaintances, you know the ones who say 'Hi, how are you?' when they really don't care or really want to know. These are the people who sigh in relief, that is my child who died and not theirs. You know ... the 'better them, than me' attitude.
My post-grief friends are the ones who climb with me, side by side, inch by inch, out of the pit of grief. They have no way of comparing the pit climbed to the pre-grief person I once was. You see, they started at the bottom of the pit with me. They are able to reassure me when I need reassurance, rest when I need resting, and encourage me to move forward when I don't have the strength. They have no expectations, no memories and no recollection of how I 'should' be. They want me to get better, to smile more often and find joy in life, but they also accepted the person I’ve become. The 'person' who is emerging from the pit.
Unknown Author
HEAVEN WAS MISSING AN ANGEL
so sorry for your loss,such a darling little boy.I leave my love and simpathy.God Bless,to everyone concernd.
Ask My Mum How She Is
================
My Mum she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before,
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mum how she is,
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie,
Because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mum How she is,
She'll say 'I'm alright'
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mum how she is,
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mum how she is,
'I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping'
For God's sake Mum, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine,
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven,
I cannot hug from here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold,
I'll say 'You're lucky to get in here, Mum,
With all the lies you told!'
Heaven's Door
On a hill in the distance
A young boy quietly waits
Patiently he watches
For his family at the gates
His blue eyes shine so brightly
As hope swells within
For soon he'll see his loved ones
And never part again
How joyous will be the meeting
As mother holds her child
And father kisses softly
The angel-his long lost child
Once more they'll hold each other
And tears will be no more
Forever they'll be together
As they pass through Heaven's door.
~~So Sorry~~
Through the gentle breeze and the stormy seas
your love comes flooding through
a sense of your surroundings
letting us know that it is you
A heavenly sky with sparkling flames
becomes visible in the skies
appearing is your shadows
as you turned to wave goodbye
A mellow whisper in my ear
thanking all for what's been done
and letting us know that you're o.k
as you glide towards the sun
No matter what the outcome
no matter how much we cried
you're letting us know that you're still here
it was only the body that died
For memory holds no boundaries
everyday it is kept alive
it gives us warmth and energy
that encourages our days to thrive
Just keep on remembering me
in your shadows i'll walk with you
and guide you through your darkest hours
in everything you say or do
For absence cannot be changed for us
we accept what had to be done
we watch the skies very closely
as you glide towards the sun
When you reach your promised land
and the gates are open wide
it is there you'll find some comfort
and your tears you'll try to hide
As you settle in your new found world
you'll send a glittering prize
that will brighten up the darkest day
and bring a tear to our eyes
Thankyou for your presence
and for all the memories too
you left this world something beautiful
it was the fact that we had you
Love Jane...x♥x
sorry to hear of your loss my heart goes out to you i nearly lost my little girl she had a V.S.D she went to the hospital 5 times before they found it love to all your family its heart breaking love to little bradley x x
A poem for Bradley\\\\\\
In a baby castle just beyond my eyes,
my baby plays with angel toy that money cannot buy.
Who am I to wish to him back into this world of strife?
NO, play on my baby, you have eternal life.
At night when all is silent, and sleep forsakes my eyes.
I'll hear your tiny footsteps come running to my side.
Your little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet.
I'll breath a prayer and close my eyes
and embrace you in my sleep
now I have a treasure that I rate above all other
I have known true glory
and I am still your mother.
If tomorrow starts without me
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see.
If the sun should rise, and find your eyes,
Are filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry,
The way you did today.
While thinking of the many things, we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you loved me,
As much as I love you.
And every time you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
I hope you’ll understand,
An angel came and called my name and took me by the hand.
She said my place was ready, in heaven up above,
And that I’d have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
I had so much to live for, so much that I should do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I wish I could have said goodbye,
And kissed and seen you smile,
I wish I could have stayed with you even for a little while.
But then I had to realise, that this could never be,
Now emptiness, and memories,
Would take the place of me.
But when I walked through heavens gates,
I felt so much at home,
And then the lord looked down on me, from his golden throne.
He said, “this is for eternity, but I will promise you,
Although your life on earth has passed, here life starts anew”
“I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each days the same up here,
There’s no longing for the past”
My loved ones, please don’t grieve for me,
Coz I am truly free,
And I will wait for you to come and share my life with me.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here in your heart
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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